OKAY, HELLO! I have traveled around the US a lot in my short time on this earth, and there are some things that just come across very strongly and catch my eye. Often it’s interior design, or accessories, or clothing, or trends. You know just half of the world is in leggings and Uggs, or EVERYONE does that ombre thing Jared Leto is killing so hard right now, or EVERYONE goes to SoulCycle, or EVERYONE likes juice, and kale, and smoothies, or EVERYONE is obsessed with Scandal, or EVERYONE is wearing Nike Free Run’s. What can I say you guys? I’m really observant.

Recently, it has been something a little more unique: EVERYONE IS GROWINGFACIAL HAIR.

It’s really intense. Everywhere I look. Every, single, person, gay or straight!

This is the poster for that new HBO show “Looking” about gay men in San Francisco — check it, foreground, mustache, background full beard…middle ground no facial hair, but that’s prob because he’s like, 13 and can’t grow it yet! Anyway, 2/3 men on one poster is enough to prove my point I think.

So, I’m here to OBSERVE & REPORT for you guys!

Remember this movie? I didn’t see it. How was it? Love Seth, though! If I were the one art directing this movie, I’d have made him have a mustache. For Reals, Don’t you agree? Would have really just made this poster POP A LITTLE.

Anyways, I’ve done a some “research” — googling things and like, watching some random TED Talks is considered research in 2014 right? I think yes! I have been trying to figure out the root of this facial hair trend. And honestly, here’s nothing really solid. There are a few theories, a few ‘explanations’, but there is nothing definitive. Basically there were only two things that I found pretty interesting. One is a serious theory – the other is less serious, but a theory nonetheless.

First theory:

Men are responding to women. They want to define themselves differently, they want to make their appearance farther from the appearance of women. Facial hair is the most different part of mens and women’s faces. Men can grow full beards, women cannot. Apparently because men don’t feel as needed for “manly” things anymore, they want to show the world that they really are strong men and growing their facial hair out is the best way to do this. It’s the most obvious reminder that they’re the manlier sex.

I find this theory way to deep for me. I mean really? We are equal. Period!

2nd theory:
Its sexy as hell! If you can grow it, you can sculpt it into whatever shape size or length. We all love options and I think its kinda awesome. They only bad thing is that I can’t grow a beard to save my life! I have very little facial hair and I have to say I’m super bummed about it! You know they actually have the ability to transplant hair onto your face?! OMG I might just have to look into this, why not! Ill never do it but its fun to research. Can you imagine what I would look like with a 5 o’clock shadow?

Is it just a trend?

Trends are born out of other trends. So this latest trend is a direct response to the 90s biggest trend: hairlessness. The 90s were spent doing everything you could to get rid of any hair, anywhere. Hope you didn’t all just laser off all of your facial hair and body hair, because having hair is BACK and how sad if you permanently cut of hair growth! Also how painful! And how expensive!

The 90s were spent looking at Queer Eye For The Straight Guy and Will And Grace — and now, we want to go the opposite direction and have HAIR EVERYWHERE! The images that were projected onto gay men in the 90s were sleek, clean-shaven, tan, very put together, styled, maintained men.

According to many people a lot of men were all, “hold up, THATS NOT ME!”. So they decided to do them – and grow some hair.

These were the two main reasons for the recent spurt of facial hair everywhere. Either way, it’s interesting that so many masses of men seem to follow trends I bet they don’t even know they’re following.

***As a little side note, I can’t imagine hipsters help the statistics on this. Hipsters are all about an “ironic” mustache.

If anyone wants to photoshop a sexy beard on my face, please go for it and send it to me! Im dying to see if I could even grow a beard, would I?